A Remembrance of Washoe at her Memorial Service
November 12, 2007
By Roger Fouts
We are here to celebrate Washoe’s life. As the Rev. Lupton Abshire instructed his sister at the memorial service he was leading for their grandmother: “This is to celebrate her life – if you cry then it becomes about you.” I will do my best to follow that advice and celebrate Washoe’s life.
Whenever we face a death we face a neurotic and irrational fear of our culture. For some reason we see death as being “unnatural” and something to avoid. This is as ridiculous as stating that you are only going to inhale and avoid exhaling entirely. Also, we must be aware of all the pain and suffering this neurotic fear has caused to our nonhuman primate cousins in our irrational attempt to avoid death and to selfishly add a few more years to our lives.
I want to thank our wonderful musicians, John and Carrie Michel, for playing in tribute to Washoe today and for providing me with the following quote from one of my favor authors: Dietrich Bonhoeffer from Letters and Papers from Prison.
Nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time, it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it remains unfilled, preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap, but on the contrary he keeps it empty, and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain.
Washoe’s gap will never be filled with someone else. Her special qualities as a person serve as a model for me to strive for in my own life. Her humor is unforgettable, even when it did involve a warm wet sensation running down my back as I gave her a piggy-back ride and she snorted her FUNNY sign as a comment on the action. Her fairness and good judge of character are something I strive for. You had to earn her respect with your own demonstrated fairness and respect. Her compassion as a person was perhaps her most dominant personality trait. I can still see the film of Washoe at about the age of three or four running quadrapedally to a crying Susan Nichols only switching to bipedal running to sign HUG to Susan as she approached. Once she jumped an electric fence at the edge of her island to rescue a new chimpanzee she didn’t know who had panicked and jumped into the surrounding moat. Another time on the island a chimpanzee spotted a snake and began giving an alarm call. Young Booee and Bruno ignored the warning, so Washoe went to the dangerous end of the island signing COME and HUG to them only to finally have to physically retrieve them and pull them to safety. She always took the side of the underdog and the needy. Even when she was introduced to Loulis the first time and he refused her comfort, she bided her time and took him on his terms, and woke him when he was sleeping with a loud bang and welcome the sleepy frightened baby into her protecting arms, where he stayed.
Family was very important to Washoe, both her chimpanzee and human families. In recent years I think her favorite day of the year was when Joshua, Rachel and Hillary returned for Christmas. It was a cause for great celebration on her part.
Some of the family images over her life that remain in the gap for me are when 5 year old Hillary would come up to the third floor of the psychology building after she finished preschool for the day. This was a high point in Washoe’s day. She would ask to see what Hillary had in her pockets and five-year-olds always have fascinating things in their pockets. Another is when Josh was a new teenager in high school, he took a job with Greg and Kat Beach at the Valley Café washing dishes and donated his meager pay check to help support his imprisoned sister. I don’t know if Washoe knew what he was doing, but when he would come up after school to help us care for the chimpanzees, Washoe showed he very special attention, which I can only imaged he wished some of the girls in high school might do the same. In later years, as our children grew and had children of their own Washoe relished meeting the new family members. When Rachel would introduced Marley and later Gabriel to Washoe she was always fascinated by them and sign to them through the glass to see their SHOES in a very diminutive fashion of “baby talk” with tiny SHOE signs.
For balance, Washoe also needed friends and sometimes took advantage of their willingness to mother her. I can still see the images from Oklahoma when 90 lb 10 year-old Washoe would ask Debbi, this tiny woman you see here, for a piggy-back ride. Ever the mother, Debbi would squat down to help this 90 lb Washoe, known for leaping to branches 10 feet above her head, climb on her back. Debbi would then struggle to her feet and Washoe would drape her head over Debbi’s should and sign GO.
The memory that haunts me since her death is from the early days in Reno when I would put her to bed. She would lie in my lap and I would brush her back and rub her temple with my thumb. She was such a contrast to the active child that kept me on my toes the rest of day. As fate would have it that is how we ended our relationship in this life. As she lay there in her final bed I groomed her back as I had done nearly 40 years ago and gently rubbed her temple. But this time she was comforted by Debbi and Mary Lee as well. It was her time to rest, and to awake to the freedom that she had begun her life with when she was born in Africa.